


However He Proceeds: Sesshoumaru Vignettes

by paynesgrey



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-15
Updated: 2010-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-13 05:25:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/133456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paynesgrey/pseuds/paynesgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He grew up refined and a warrior, yet Sesshoumaru still is a mystery to many who encounter him. These vignettes are a biographical look into Sesshoumaru's life and the people he interacts with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inheritance

**Author's Note:**

> ***Originally posted on 12-31-2005  
> **I think Toutousai is the one who gave him the sword. I recall him turning tail and hanging it to the tree in Movie 3, so let's go with that. Thank you to numisma for helping me look it over.

This was written for FieryFaerie86 as a round-robin challenge for December at iyflash_fic, a community on Livejournal.

However He Proceeds: Sesshoumaru Vignettes

Act I. - Inheritance

 

The young Sesshoumaru scrunched up his nose and squinted his eyes. His father, in jubilation, pointed a gnarled clawed finger to the vast stretch of forestry and mountains before them.

“See? All of that is yours, my son,” his father rasped in an admiring tone. Sesshoumaru turned his gaze quickly to read his father's eyes, so full of adoration for the land presented to them. “Of course, it doesn't belong to you yet.”

Sesshoumaru shifted his gaze again to the open landscape before him. The breeze was cold that morning, and tree tops poked out of the hovered fog in the valleys. Momentarily, a hawk flew across his line of vision and his eyes followed it. Then, he sighed and then sucked in the cold damp air of the morning. He could feel his father's pride radiating beside him, and Sesshoumaru suddenly frowned in spite of it all.

“It's boring, Father,” he said placidly, and he lifted his nose to the air and gave his father a look of disinterest. “I don't see anything worth wanting.”

Instead of annoying his father as intended, Sesshoumaru's response seemed to amuse him, and Sesshoumaru noticed the fanged smile that took over his lips.

“Well, now on the outside it looks boring, but there is so much that you don't see which is yours. Everything inside those trees, on those mountains, and within the rivers is all yours - that includes the humans, animals, and plants that all dwell there. The span of this entire western countryside will belong to you,” his father said with an admiring tone. Sesshoumaru watched Touga, leader of the dog clan, fold his arms over his chest and raise his chin into the air. Sesshoumaru's eyes followed his stark white hair billowing in the wind. “Of course, it's not yours now. I may live for a long time before you inherit it. Still, it's nice to know what you'll be getting, am I right?”

Sesshoumaru automatically nodded and looked away from his father's face, inwardly nauseous from his father's carefree demeanor. He often wondered how such a carefree warrior was so feared among demons. He wondered, from where did his power stem? How could he, Sesshoumaru, gain the same power?

It seemed as though his father was unlike other demon tyrants of their age. He was ruthless and, at the same time, compassionate. He seemed almost invulnerable, as though no enemy could touch him. He had slain so many enemies, ransacked so many human and demon villages alike, all for his own imperialism. Some would say he did all of this with a constant fanged smile on his face.

Sesshoumaru's eyes traveled down and stared at the three swords tied to the hilt of his father's belt. For as long as he could remember, his father's swords had been a primary source for his interest. Did all of his father's magnificent power stem from those weapons?

He looked again at his father's jubilant smile. Or did his power stem from there?

The hawk screamed in the distance, and Sesshoumaru turned his head automatically to see it. His frown began to disappear as he took another good look at the land he would someday possess.

Would all of that really be his someday? He seemed to really doubt it, not with how powerful his father was. Sesshoumaru rather thought his father would live forever.


	2. Mother

Act II. - Mother

Sesshoumaru, no more than fifty winters old, looked warily down at the human corpse in front of him. He began absently licking off the blood coating his fingers, secretly delighting in the sweet metallic taste that swam over his taste buds. Before he could divulge in the taste any further, he was interrupted by a quick motion of a slapping hand.

“Sesshoumaru! Shame on you!” said the gruff irritated voice of his mother. She whacked his fingers out of his mouth before he could finish off the rest that dripped down his forearm.

He looked up at her, confused and surprised as to why she was so adamant about stopping him from licking off a spot of blood. What was so wrong with eating humans? He had seen many of his father's servants feast on humans plenty of times, and this particular human looked tasty. Moreover, she deserved to be eaten. This human was special.

“What is it, Mother?” he asked, his finger shaking to return to his tongue. His mother pursed her lips and glared at him with her fierce pale eyes. Many trembled at the mere sight of that look because they were so grey and clear, almost like crystal. To look into his mother's furious grey eyes was like looking right through her into a suffocating prison. Sesshoumaru focused his gaze on her mouth so as not to get trapped in such a spell.

She scoffed audibly, and motioned some servants to clean up her son and the bloody mess at his feet. In a very low voice she lectured him. “I will not have my precious son sully himself with the blood of humans. No self-respecting demon eats a human. Do you understand? To eat a human is to lower yourself with underclass demon filth. Our class, however, would prefer only to rule humans and treat them as nothing but eyesores. We do not eat them.” His mother visibly shuddered. “To do so would bring shame upon me.”

“But Mother, what are humans good for if not for eating?” Sesshoumaru asked, staring at the corpse at his feet with a perplexed look. “Are we not supposed to kill them also?”

Sesshoumaru's mother waved her hand in the air listlessly. “Sesshoumaru, humans are no more for killing than domesticated cats. If you choose to kill them for sport, vengeance, or whatever, then that is up to you. However, we do know, like cats, that humans are dirty and full of many diseases. I am trying to protect you from humans that would try to hurt you or infect you with some vile malady. If anything, you should just ignore them. I know it will be hard. Their race is multiplying and we see them everywhere.” She sighed heavily and joined him in staring at the corpse.

“Mother, you think differently from how Father does about humans,” Sesshoumaru replied bluntly.

His mother nodded. “True. Your father seems to think we can treat these humans as equals. I admit they pose some intelligence, but…” She narrowed her eyes at the corpse. “I question their inherent character.”

“Father has made a treaty with the human fief lord to the north,” Sesshoumaru continued on the subject. “I overheard him talking to Myouga that the human lord in the north is under the rule of the dragon Ryukossei. Father had made a deal with this lord, that if he allowed him safe passage through his territory that he would spare the fief lord and his family during the upcoming war.” Sesshoumaru looked up at his mother, and she absently nodded, still staring at the corpse of the woman on the floor. He could see her lip curl in animosity. “This human was the daughter of the fief lord. Father had bargained for her as one of the deals in this treaty.”

His mother said nothing but continued to stare. He could tell that pain began to swirl in her pale eyes.

“She was to be his concubine.”

Sesshoumaru's mother growled lightly, and then turned her face away from her son. He saw her fists clench and tremble at her side. He thought he heard her say, “I told him…”

“I caught her coming out of Father's bedroom this morning, Mother.” He didn't know why, but now his voice was trembling. He watched as his mother's shoulders tensed and then relaxed. “I thought, if I killed her for you, that you would reconsider leaving. I was going to eat this human for you, Mother. This human deserved what was coming to her.” He flexed his claws and stared at the drying blood on his hands. He tried desperately to hold back the emotion, but he could not.

His mother had talked for some time now about how unfaithful her husband had always been. Of course, he adored her, but he adored other women as well. After Sesshoumaru was born, he was satisfied with the heir that he received, and since then his attentions to his mother were scarce.

Sesshoumaru knew that she was tired of it - tired of his father. She had told him not long ago that she still cared about him, but hated him at the same time. If these things kept happening, if his father did not stop his adulterous ways, she would someday leave and never return.

Sesshoumaru knew wholeheartedly that his mother meant to go through with her ultimatum, and he was hoping that if he killed this human before she could find out, perhaps she would stay.

But it was hard to hide anything from his mother, and with her itching wanderlust, to start anew away from a life so exceedingly unsettling and a crumbling marriage, had become more important than her teenage son's needs.

Sesshoumaru didn't want her to go. He wanted to keep his mother in his life.

He walked toward her, wrapping his arms around her torso and leaning his head against her back. At first, his motion startled her, and then she relaxed into him.

“Don't go, Mother,” Sesshoumaru pleaded in a whisper. He took a deep intake of her scent, something he always cherished; she smelt of lily petals and fresh morning dew.

Then, his mother turned around and cupped his cheeks within her long slender hands. She brought his gaze to meet hers, and he noticed she was smiling at him affectionately.

“Oh, my precious boy,” she said, her eyes soaking up his image. He looked at her intently, taking in little moments of her delicate form for his memory.

“Will I see you again?” he asked, his hands idly running down the small of her back.

She hugged him and nodded against his cheek. “Of course. This is only temporary. You know how I am, Sesshoumaru. I was never cut out for a palace life. My spirit yearns to wander, to travel the world and see amazing things. I will not be gone from you forever, my son.” Smiling, she kissed his forehead and smiled hopefully with radiant bluish-grey eyes. Even the possibility of retreating from this sordid life made his mother shine brighter, more so than he had seen her in years.

His mother glanced at the hem of her dress; it was being soaked by blood. She sighed in exasperation, and then forced a continuous smile in front of her son. He must have looked worried to her, and she tried very hard to assure him she would return.

“I may be gone, but I will send you word,” she said, and she looked to the open window of the hall. To her right, her friend Reiji the small fire hawk demon awaited patiently for any orders from his long time mistress. She gave Reiji a knowing nod, and he cawed for her.

“And someday, when things have settled down, I may even return.”

“Where will you go?” Sesshoumaru asked curiously.

“To the west,” his mother answered quickly.

Sesshoumaru watched her with interest, and was somewhat stunned when she unexpectedly giggled. “I've always had a fondness for oceans.”

Then, not two days after he had killed that human girl, his mother left. He was troubled, not only by her disappearance, but also by his father's reaction.

It was as if his father barely even realized she was gone.


	3. Humanity

Act III. - Humanity

Not more than a few weeks after his mother's disappearance did his father jump readily to fill his bed. His father had demon and human lovers alike, and remembering his mother's strife, Sesshoumaru distanced himself away from the palace more and more.

There were many times that Sesshoumaru would have liked to follow in his mother's footsteps and run away completely, but to his father, he was too important as the heir.  
Moreover, Sesshoumaru was still tied to his father, harboring obsessions of power and knowledge for the secrets of his father's greatness.

On the other hand, despite Sesshoumaru's willingness to train with his father and follow him to battle, it seemed that his father had his own qualms about him. Sesshoumaru noticed right away that his father was trying very hard to be less intimate with his son and more and more distant. He surmised that the reason was rooted in the fact that he looked so much like his mother, and the Inu Taisho's way of dealing with one of his rare failures in life was not to deal with it at all.

But Sesshoumaru knew better, and his father had a plan for him. No, he wouldn't be a failure to the great dog king like his mother had been in his father's eyes. Sesshoumaru was sure his father would try to prevent his son from failure, and the only way to teach him to be less like his mother and more like his father was to have him be more tolerant of humans - even if they were thrust upon him.

So frequently his father would introduce him to human fief lords and try to have him bed princesses and even slaves. On his mother's honor he would not touch them, and in most diplomatic meetings he would stalk off, indifferent to the entire situation.

His father became frustrated with him, always lecturing about having more emotion, more care for the world and the living beings that inhabited it. However, Sesshoumaru found such concerns unnecessary. He already cared for living beings; one being was his mother and the other his father. That was good enough for him.

Still, his father persisted, and he had one last challenge for his son.

“I want you to meet my fiancé, son,” his father had said, presenting his new young bride. “This is Princess Izayoi.” Then, the girl bowed to him, showing him the utmost respect that he would never give her.

Sesshoumaru had never imagined his father would do such a thing, and despite the betrayal he felt on behalf of his mother, he was not surprised at his father's actions. Sesshoumaru was quite sure the thing was a ploy to get him to accept humans indefinitely, now that he had to not only live with one but treat one as a step-mother.

He never guessed that his father actually loved the girl.

But he could see that the girl was totally enamored with his father. It sickened him how she watched him with worshiping eyes and never-ending smiles. In his overall impression, Sesshoumaru felt she was like any other human princess he had met: traditional, humble, and most of all, bland. He couldn't fathom how his father could choose such a creature over the character of his mother.

If anything, Princess Izayoi was nothing more than a concubine-made-queen. Sesshoumaru had once mentioned his opinions of her in private, and his father had only slightly seemed annoyed, brushing off the subject in hearty chuckles.

After that, Sesshoumaru was forced to spend more and more time with her. Somehow his father had convinced Izayoi to have tea sessions with him every afternoon to get to know her new `son' so they could have a better relationship. Sesshoumaru found the idea silly and sneaky on his father's part, but humored him anyway. He would prove to his father that he would not back out on such a frivolously easy challenge.

“Would you like more tea, Sesshoumaru-sama?” Izayoi had asked him sweetly one of those afternoons. Sesshoumaru slowly turned his head and looked at the contents of his cup. He had not touched the first spot of tea she had given him from fifteen minutes before.

“No,” he replied plainly, not looking at her. He willed himself to never look at her. Once he accidentally had met her eyes, and he began to remember his mother. And it was not because Izayoi reminded him of her, but that seeing her as his father's new bride and act so comfortably made him want to tear her to shreds and eat her heart.

But as his mother had told him, he shouldn't do something so low to humans - not even the ones that deserved it.

“Sesshoumaru-sama, your tea looks cold. Shall I warm it up? Or do you not like tea?” she asked, trying to sweep away the awkward silence.

“I usually like tea, but not now,” he said, rolling his eyes. She said nothing and silence took over them again. He could sense emotions spilling off her, and she seemed very near to crying.

“I know I'm not your mother, Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said.

Quickly, he cut her off: “No, you are not.”

“But, I thought we could take some time to be friends,” she added, trying to ignore his sharp remark.

“My father thinks we should be friends. If he hadn't told you to come here, you would have thought nothing of it,” he said, and then noticed she was looking down at her lap ruefully. “I do not want to be here either.”

Izayoi seemed even more upset. Sesshoumaru heard her softly sniffling in between her breaths. “I just thought we could try to be a family,” she said mournfully.

Sesshoumaru scoffed. “A family? Is that what you think my father wants to give you? You're as deluded as I thought.” Izayoi looked up to him, stunned. He braved looking into her eyes when the notion to kill her had left him. Now, all he felt for her was pity. “You know what my father thinks of you? You're a child, a pet to warm his bed. He's had tons of women, demon and human, that were exactly like you. You are no different. The only woman that had any sense, any sort of power and grace was my mother, and not in a thousand years will you be anything close to her.”

Izayoi began to shiver, but she gave him contemptuous eyes. “Your father loves me, not your mother. He told me so.”

Sesshoumaru laughed. “Did he? He is a charmer, just as they all say. He would tell you anything to get you into his bed. Love? Don't make me laugh. Demons don't love, or at least not the way you humans see it, anyway.”

“I don't believe you,” she replied, pursing her lips together and glaring at him. If this girl wasn't his father's bride, he would kill her for such an insubordinate look. “You're only saying all of this because you don't like me, and you can't accept that your mother left your father. You can't accept that your father loves me now.”

Quickly, he reached across the table and grabbed her neck with his claws. His eyes raged red at her. “Never speak of my mother in such a way again, human.” Somewhere in her struggle to gasp for air, Izayoi managed to nod, at which point he released her and watched with satisfaction as she slumped into her seat like a rag doll.

“I'm sorry, Sesshoumaru-sama, I didn't mean to offend you,” she apologized quickly, though he made no motion to accept it. “I know you love your mother a lot, and it was wrong of me to say that,” she added, trying to force a response from him. “I only wonder if you will come to regard me in even a small portion of the way you regard your mother.”

He turned to her with a golden gaze of absolution. “That will never happen.”

Izayoi nodded slowly and bit her lip in frustration. From that point on, Izayoi made it her personal mission to get Sesshoumaru to like her, even just a bit.

~*~

His new step-mother wrapped her legs around him tightly as he pumped into her. She squealed and mewled in ecstasy to his treatment. Sesshoumaru grunted as he plunged inside her, shuddering with physical satisfaction from her hot wet slickness and the frenetic way she ran her hands over his muscles.

As she clung to him, cooing and moving to get more of him inside her, he felt triumphant. Izayoi's obsession to make him like her made it easier for him to get her out of his father's bed and into his. He wondered if, after taking her, his father would finally be angry with him. Would his father finally make a motion to regard him as his equal? Maybe the power his father obtained rested in the insides of human females, and to think of that made him want to laugh out loud.

Sesshoumaru's name sputtered over Izayoi's lips, and he grinned wider.

`Love, eh?' he thought, and plunged into her harder, rewarded with a guttural moan. `So much for human love.'

With one final squirm inside her, he felt himself releasing. He panted as he released inside her, and gently and slowly, Izayoi climbed down from him onto her feet. Her legs shuddered in exhaustion as she stood up, and she began absently rubbing the sweat that dripped down her hips.

She looked up at him, trying to find some emotion that would indicate that what she was doing was working - that Sesshoumaru would finally like her - but all she seemed to see was the same placid look he always had for her and everyone else.

She licked her lips and began to regulate her breathing again. She closed her eyes, and realized that she'd have to keep trying to get in his favor, and she would have to do it all over again tomorrow.

“Sesshoumaru-sama, there is something I've wanted to tell you,” she said in between small pants, wrapping a robe over her nude body to protect herself from the chill on her wet skin.

Sesshoumaru said nothing, and only stared at her to indicate she could go on.

“I am with child. You are going to have a brother,” she said happily, searching desperately for a reaction in his face. Instead of a slight hint of jubilation as she had wished for, she saw irritation and displeasure.

“This child is not mine, I hope,” Sesshoumaru said right away.

Izayoi shook her head vigorously, hoping that was all he was worried about. “No, it is your father's from our first night,” she explained, and Sesshoumaru seemed to get more annoyed.

“I am sorry for you. You should have the child destroyed,” Sesshoumaru said piteously.

Izayoi looked at him in shock. “What do you mean? Having a child is a wonderful thing for a woman! Why should I destroy it?” she lashed at him.

Sesshoumaru, who was still naked, leaned against the wall and sighed with irritation. “My father is a demon, and you are a human. Thus, the child will be a hanyou, and in human and demon society, birthing a hanyou, even being a hanyou, is frowned upon,” he continued as she looked at him intently. “Having a hanyou child will bring shame to my family. If my father is smart, he will agree with me and have you destroy the child. If you do not, his reputation will be tainted and many demons will come after you to kill you and your offspring.”

“No…” Izayoi looked sick and mortified by what he was saying. “You lie. You're just jealous…”

“Hardly,” Sesshoumaru said sarcastically. “I am telling the truth. You will be shunned and perhaps even hunted by your own kind. Mixing demon and human blood has always had unpredictable results. Your child could be severely deformed, even crippled.” Izayoi began crying, rubbing her belly affectionately as if she didn't want her baby to hear such cruel lies. “I am telling the truth, Izayoi. It will be better off if the child were dead.”

“No!” she screamed, breaking into a run and leaving his room almost immediately.

Sesshoumaru sighed as he listened to her running down the corridors in a noisy frenzy. “Stupid woman,” he said under his breath, and looked around the room for his clothes.

Suddenly, the silence of the room was cut short. “Ah, I wonder who is the stupid one here?” came a gruff voice, and Sesshoumaru looked over to the shadows by the door.

“Father,” he said simply, knowing right away who it was.

When his father came into the light of the room, Sesshoumaru saw anger, something he had caused for the first time.

“Please enlighten me as to why you are doing this with your step-mother,” his father demanded in a low tone.

“She is not my step-mother. As I see it, she is nothing but your plaything,” Sesshoumaru said, averting his attention from his father's face and concentrating on his clothes. “I wanted to have a taste of her, and she didn't seem to mind.”

Like lightning, Sesshoumaru felt a flash across the side of his head. His mind was disoriented, and he lost his balance, falling to the ground. He smelled his own blood trickling down his cheek.

“Never do that again,” his father said finally, and he made a motion to leave when he had nothing more to say.

Sesshoumaru smiled triumphantly, but his father could not see it in the darkness. Sesshoumaru chided him as he left. “Your bitch is birthing a hanyou, did you know? You should be proud, Father, for another failure. First you drive Mother away, and then you stain our name with a bastard half-breed.” His father stopped in the doorway with his back to his son. Sesshoumaru pressed on: “How your enemies will lick their lips to have a chance to use that child against you. It would be better if you let me kill it, and relieve our family of such a blemish.”

Touga turned around and gave his son a dangerous glare. “There will be no killing. Izayoi will have that child, and I will raise it as your sibling. You will divide this land equally.”

Sesshoumaru's eyes raged at such an idea. Share his inheritance with a half-breed? Treat it as a sibling? Treat it as an equal? He returned his father's glare. “You're mad to think I will accept that trash as my brother. I will not share what is rightfully mine with anything that carries the blood of humans! If you don't kill it, your enemies will, and Izayoi too! Have you forgotten we are at war with the dragons? Once they find out that you have taken a human bitch as your wife and given her your seed, they will find her and tear her apart. Then, using your `love' against you, they will beat us and strip us of all we own! We will lose this war because of that bitch and her child!” Sesshoumaru breathed erratically, anger pouring throughout all his nerves. He couldn't believe his father was so stupid, so careless! “They will be our downfall.”

Then, his father's dangerous glare turned quickly into a confident smirk. “You are too paranoid, my son. Of course I have thought of Izayoi's situation in this war. Mind you, I will protect her with my life.”

Sesshoumaru snorted as his father continued to be amused. “Protect a human? Are you truly my father? Is that where your power lies, in the protection of humans?”

His father gave him a stern look. “I love her.”

Sesshoumaru's eyes widened momentarily, and he wondered if his father had ever once said that to his mother. A ball of anger bobbed in the pit of his gut, and he felt he was going to retch. Finally, he shook his head and began to leave the room.

As he passed his father, he shoved him aside on the shoulder before he left.

“Fine,” he snarled. Sesshoumaru felt this tremendous urge to leave the palace for the while, but unlike his mother, he probably would come back sooner. For now, though, he just wanted to go somewhere else - anywhere but in the company of his father's weaknesses and shame. “Do what you want.”

Then he left, and he didn't come back until he found out that his father had been true to his word; he had protected his wife and son to the death.


	4. Brother

Act IV. - Brother

 

With the death of his father, Sesshoumaru was sure his mother would catch word and hopefully return. However, years went by and she still had not come back.

Without his mother, his frustration had continued to build up. After his father's death had spread across the land, the palace had been ransacked, and despite the fact that Sesshoumaru still maintained control of his lands, he had no grounded stronghold. One could say that he was the stronghold himself, and he continued to wander in search of word of his mother, and more importantly, his father's possessions that he had so timely scattered away after his death.

The main focus of his journey was to seek out his brother. Through word of his father's old friends and comrades, it was rumored that the young hanyou had the key to the secret hiding place of the Inu Taisho's prize weapon, the coveted sword Tessaiga. Though Sesshoumaru himself had received Tenseiga from old Toutousai, it was not the sword he wanted or felt he deserved. What was he, Sesshoumaru, going to do with a sword that healed when his main goal was to achieve power and fight for his birthright? Those were the two things he wanted, and since his father had died, he had never really understood how to achieve the same level of power. Now he would spend his life doing so, and he felt that the key to it all was Tessaiga.

However, it seemed his father always kept his word, and had split up the swords equally between his sons just as he said. Though no one knew where the third sword was, there was talk of Tessaiga being around and that his brother the hanyou was the key.

Sesshoumaru felt it was unnerving that he had to deal with Izayoi again, and knowing her attachment to his family and to him, he did not want to encounter her needy presence whatsoever. But when he inquired about her, he was relieved to find out that she had passed away in the village where she was raising her son, and now the young boy was wandering around forests as an outcast trying to survive.

“The princess Izayoi had called him Inuyasha. When she died, he fled to the forests,” said the raccoon spirit that resided on the outskirts of the village. “The villagers that come to barter with me used to talk quite a lot about him. Though, since he fled after his mother's death, there has been less talk about him. It seems as though his departure has left everyone relieved.”

Sesshoumaru nodded, and then the tanuki finally pointed him in the direction of the forest where he heard Inuyasha was dwelling. Sesshoumaru paid him for the dues of the information, and set off. He sniffed, hoping to find the hanyou by scent. If anything, he would have a mixture of Izayoi and his father's blood, and those were two scents he knew pretty well.

It took him only a few days, but he finally located the boy's scent, finding him living in a rickety hut by a riverside hidden by some thick old trees. For the first day, Sesshoumaru watched him and calculated his routine. The boy was most likely fifteen winters old and had the appearance of a ten year-old human. Sesshoumaru was mildly surprised at how normal he was for a hanyou, and the only odd thing about him seemed to be his ears, which were white canine ears perched on the top of his head. As for the rest of him, he seemed pretty normal. His eyes were golden like their father's, and he had his mother's cheekbone structure. He was lanky, and most likely undernourished. His body was marred with many scratches, ones that healed quickly at the end of the day.

The boy's daily routine seemed secluded and simplistic, and Sesshoumaru followed him as he went out to find food. He tried to stay close enough behind so Inuyasha couldn't detect his scent. Once in a while Sesshoumaru would inch closer, testing his abilities.

“I know you're there,” Inuyasha finally huffed, looking straight at his position in the trees. “You can stop watching me and come out and kill me already. It's annoying having a stalker.”

Holding back the anger that was about to enflame his face, Sesshoumaru growled as he nonchalantly floated down into the open. Inuyasha looked him up and down, and cocked a brow.

“Wow, I thought you were strong, but I had no idea you were a refined demon. I thought you were just another dumb-as-a-rock oni out for a nightly meal,” Inuyasha said. Sesshoumaru felt a twinge of annoyance at this boy's attitude. Then, he thought he saw the boy shudder, and he could smell a small amount of fear pour off of him. “I had no idea a big demon like you would want to kill me.”

“You are mistaken. I am not here to make you my dinner, as you seem to think,” Sesshoumaru said in a stuffy voice. He lifted his nose and looked down at Inuyasha in contempt. “Ah, so you don't recognize me.”

Inuyasha gave him a hard stare, almost challenging. “Nope. How could I forget a distinct looking old fart such as you?”

Sesshoumaru curled his lip at the affront. Old fart? He was barely 500 years of age. He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear.

“I figured you were dense, half-breed. You must get that from your mother,” Sesshoumaru responded, and he smirked a little as the young boy furrowed his brow in anger.

“What did you say about my mother? Don't talk about her like you knew her!” the boy screamed, flexing his claws at his sides. Sesshoumaru felt mildly amused at where this conversation was going.

“Of course, I knew her, boy,” Sesshoumaru hissed. “I knew your father as well.”

Inuyasha's eyes lit up in curiosity, and Sesshoumaru quickly saw him drop his guard. “My father? You knew my father?”

“Yes,” he said, and Sesshoumaru became annoyed with Inuyasha's thick head. Hadn't he figured it out yet? Didn't his appearance give just a tiny hint? Sesshoumaru sighed as he watched Inuyasha gape at him. “You are really stupid like your mother. Boy, don't you have any brains? We have the same father.”

Inuyasha closed his mouth and let it drop again. “You're - you're my brother?”

“Half-brother,” Sesshoumaru sternly corrected, and he shot him an irritated look. “And not by choice either.”

Inuyasha stiffened and looked at him intently. “So, if you don't want to be my brother, then why are you here? Don't tell me you're going to take me home or something.”

“Stop being an idiot. You have something of mine,” Sesshoumaru said.

“Something of yours?” Inuyasha looked around the area and then looked at his hands. “What could I have of yours? I ain't got anything.”

Sesshoumaru cocked his head and then tapped his chin. “Oh, you have it, all right. My father entrusted you with a secret, of that I am sure. Maybe your mother told you about it. Maybe your mother already had it and bartered it for food. I don't really know, but I will find out, by force if necessary.”

Inuyasha glared at him. “Look, you ass, I told you I ain't got nothing of yours, so shove off and leave me alone. I don't care if you are my brother; I don't want to deal with your girly looking self and all your crazy demands.” Sesshoumaru watched as Inuyasha planted his feet in the dirt and took a defensive stance. He found it amusing that a runt of a boy was ready to fight and use his claws against him.

Sesshoumaru smirked, and then moved stealthily toward him. He lifted his fist and quickly clobbered Inuyasha in the chin. Inuyasha groaned and fell backward, glaring at Sesshoumaru as he spit up a few teeth and massaged his wounded jaw.

“Maybe you need a little persuasion,” Sesshoumaru offered, cracking his own knuckles and preparing for another punch. Before the boy could react, Sesshoumaru had pounded Inuyasha again in the right side of his face.

Unsuccessfully, Inuyasha tried to defend himself from the onslaught of Sesshoumaru's kicks and jabs, and soon found himself unable to stand. Sesshoumaru stopped and observed as his little brother rolled in the dirt and clutched his broken ribs. His eyes were completely bruised and swollen, and Sesshoumaru was sure he could no longer see through them. Blood trickled down both sides of his mouth and onto his red robe. His body was shaking, and he moaned in pain.

“I told you, I don't have nothing, so just kill me now and get it over with,” Inuyasha coughed out before turning his head to level Sesshoumaru's gaze, though he still couldn't see through his swollen eyes.

Sesshoumaru looked down at him piteously. There was no way he could kill him, especially if Inuyasha couldn't stand upright or even see him when he finished him off. No, his brother was more valuable alive than dead, because maybe one day he would remember the secret location of their father's sword. When that day came, Sesshoumaru would return to him, and then he could kill him and take what was rightfully his.

Inuyasha coughed, taunting him through blood and broken teeth, “What are you waitin' for? Finish me!” Sesshoumaru looked at him with remorse. There was no way he could kill him now. The hanyou actually wanted death, and Sesshoumaru would not give him what he wanted.

“We will meet again, little brother,” Sesshoumaru said, turning his back and then walking away. “Mark my words; I will take from you what is rightfully mine.”

Battered, Inuyasha slumped back onto the ground and listened to Sesshoumaru's retreating footsteps.


	5. Enemy

Act V. - Enemy

Sesshoumaru always thought that his brother was his only enemy. Inuyasha had inherited what was meant to be his, and Sesshoumaru still had not been successful in killing him. When he thought of what enemies he had, he thought only of Inuyasha. Sure, he had many people come after him, talk about revenge on the house of his father, but Sesshoumaru didn't really consider them his enemies because they were leftovers of his father's tyranny and certainly not from him. So when he involved himself in Inuyasha's later life to get Tessaiga, he had no idea that he would be wrapped up in a skirmish between Inuyasha and one of his enemies, another hanyou named Naraku.

At first, Naraku had promised to help him get the sword, and at the time, it was all Sesshoumaru wanted. This Naraku had given him a human appendage with a Shikon shard to replace his lost arm and subsequently give him the ability to hold his father's enchanted sword.

The deal seemed ideal; after all, Naraku's only goal was to get rid of Inuyasha, and Sesshoumaru had no problem against that. But even though he didn't trust this Naraku, he was still angry to find out he was just another pawn in the dirty hanyou's scheme.

This Sesshoumaru was no one's pawn, much less the pawn of a dirty hanyou.

So, within a short time, Inuyasha's enemy Naraku had become his enemy as well, and even as powerful as Sesshoumaru was, he could not seem to destroy the demon, much less avoid the tangled web of trickery Naraku had weaved for them at every corner.

In time, Sesshoumaru's longing for his father's sword had diminished, and his main focus shifted to Naraku. He had learned along the way that his brother had rightfully inherited the Tessaiga, and if he had any chance of fighting this mutual enemy, he was going to need the sword. Consequently, the two brothers, sworn to be mortal enemies themselves, were now fighting the same demon. In all his life, Sesshoumaru had never figured that he would actually be fighting on the same side as his brother. The thought continued to unnerve him everyday.

In spite of it all, though, he felt himself changing. He was doing things that he would have never done in his youth. The sword Tenseiga that he inherited continued to grow along with him, changing and molding into the same kind of man that his father wanted him to be. Like his sword, his father wanted to save people, to protect people, the one concept he could never fully understand.

Soon, Tenseiga had led him to take on raising a young human girl, and as his journey continued, he gained companions that he had soon begun to `protect,' just as the sword, and his father, had always wanted.

Yet he wasn't complete. Even though in the face of his enemies he would feign having no concern or care for his companions, he would come and come again when they were in trouble. And even though he most certainly cared, something still didn't seem right to him. His life still seemed to be missing something.

“You are the only one who can kill him,” she said, this demon named Kagura who was enslaved by Naraku. She looked at him with fortitude and confidence, yet in her ruby eyes she was yearning for escape. She looked to him, Sesshoumaru, for hope and freedom. “You will be the one that defeats Naraku, not Inuyasha.”

Generally, Sesshoumaru wouldn't tolerate such praising, and would most definitely ignore her and walk away. But Kagura was different. She was risking everything to be free, and she did it by helping him and giving him information that would most likely cost her life.

And for many weeks she followed behind them or led them on toward Naraku. Sometimes she would join them, either to join the group or catch Sesshoumaru alone. When she held his company alone, she was always so tender, revealing such vulnerability which, he knew, was for his eyes alone. Sesshoumaru saw this often in her company. It didn't matter if she was talking about the most mundane thing about Naraku's plans; she would always have a soft look that was washed over with hope.

Then, on the last night she had visited him, Kagura sat with him around the fire while his other companions went to sleep. With this time alone with him, Kagura spilled her fears out into the open.

“He's going to kill me soon,” she said absently. Sesshoumaru saw that she had said it so nonchalantly it was almost as if she readily accepted her death. “He knows I've been conspiring with you. He's been keeping things from me knowingly, so I know I don't have much time left.”

Sitting across from her, he studied her in the silence. In the firelight she looked fragile, and in her expression she almost looked ready to completely fade away. She was always such a stern woman, strong and hopeful in her fight for her freedom. Often, her attitude was coarse and even rough, and sometimes she wasn't the most lady-like female he'd ever known, but when she was alone with him like this, she would always let her barriers down.

And at times like these, he felt paralyzed. He didn't know why, but he often felt like he should comfort her. It felt strange to him, having these indecipherable emotions for this woman. But in the long run, he would always abstain from giving her any indication that he cared. In his silence, she would look at him, her eyes moving over his face and then away. She'd stare at him, almost breathless, and then turn her head quickly when they would lock gazes. Then, she'd get angry with herself, slightly pouting and then glaring away from him.

“How much time do you think you have left? Is it enough to beat him and then save you?” Sesshoumaru said in almost a whisper, cutting through the subdued silence.

“I - I don't think there's enough time,” she said honestly, taken out of her reverie when he finally spoke. He cocked his head at her, noticing that she would often get a far off look in her face whenever she watched him. He could only surmise that she cared about him, in a way that he couldn't bring himself to indulge in.

He noticed her shivering in the cold air, and then she hugged herself. She looked to him, most likely hoping he would come to aid her in warmth.

But Kagura knew him better than that.

She got up suddenly, and picked a feather from the back of her hair piece. Automatically, he got up too, and stood still for a moment to watch her.

“I think it's time for me to go. I can't be gone long, or Naraku starts to really wonder.” She shuddered, and her hand rested over her left breast. She made a face of despair, and then composed herself as she turned to him. “I don't want to go,” she said blandly, but he didn't respond.

However, he did notice the pain her voice, and saw the desperation in her eyes. And, like many times before upon meeting Kagura, sometimes his heart would stir. His blood pounded in his ears, and as the evening was silent, he began to feel his own heartbeat. A vision of his father protecting Izayoi flashed through his mind.

The way Kagura was looking at him, the things she was hoping from him, was just like what his father did for Izayoi. Kagura wanted Sesshoumaru to protect her.

He swallowed visibly. He didn't know if he could.

“I'll see you again,” he concluded. “Soon.”

She gave him a disbelieving smirk. “Sure you will,” she drawled cattily, and Sesshoumaru realized that Kagura was putting up her barriers again. She continued to stare at him as she threw her feather out. It grew larger, and then she climbed upon it. He did not break his gaze with her, and then suddenly walked over to her.

“Stay alive, Kagura,” he said, looking up at her from her feather. She smiled, and then she bent down quickly and kissed the moon on his forehead. He saw a white flash, and then blinked. When he opened his eyes again, Kagura was already gone.

 

~*~

When Kagura was dying, he felt compelled to find her. He could sense it. It didn't matter if he journeyed east, west, south or north; he would find her and see her one last time.

His heart felt pinched and knotted. For him, it was a strange sensation to have this longing, to have this pain. It was even more unsettling that even with Tenseiga on his hip he couldn't save her.

When he found her, she was entombed in miasma, and the body that had once been so whole just a few days ago was disintegrating into the wind.

The wind.

She smiled at him, and as she was dying, the warm afternoon breeze picked up and whirled around him. Even though she was dying, she was happy. He was here with her, and she going to be free. She was going to be free because of him.

To that thought something shimmered inside of him. He walked away, and his companions followed, but he hardly thought they could understand how he was feeling and what he was going through.

Absently, he wandered away from Kagura's fading remains and back onto the path toward his only enemy.

Now he had a new reason to fight Naraku, and his heart had felt it. A strange sensation simmered within him, and he felt the wind kiss the back of his skull. He looked to the sky and vowed to remember.

With that feeling, the old man Toutousai soon came to him, and offered a gift to his sword.


	6. Children

VI. - Children

It seemed that after Kagura's death, life went on as usual. Sesshoumaru seemed to be the only one that felt the change, and in light of these new feelings, he seemed to watch Rin just a little closer. As the fight with Naraku got more complex and unpredictable, Rin became more of a liability, which meant he had to protect her more than ever.

If anything, he could protect and save Rin as a way to make up for his lost chance at saving Kagura. Though, the difference between Rin and Kagura was that Rin was a human and a child, thus frailer.

He remembered at first that he had saved Rin on Tenseiga's wish, and she stayed with him, gradually softening him and influencing his moves in battle. Her small and fragile position in his group often made things more complex for him, and he even began to anticipate the predictability of his enemies grabbing Rin for bait. Though their plans never worked and he always feigned indifference, he was actually worried for her.

With or without the aid of Tenseiga, Rin had indeed become very important to him. Even her cute human-child idiosyncrasies amused him, making him more attached to her. Like his father had wanted, he protected her and would always protect her in the future.

But something had happened with Rin that he had not really planned for. He always knew that Rin would one day grow up, and even when they survived Naraku's defeat later on, he realized that even keeping her safe did not prevent her from growing up and becoming a human adult female.

It had jarred him the day she came screaming to him, the part in between her legs dripping with blood and her face dripping with tears.

She was absolutely terrified, and even Jaken's usual ranting did not help to subdue her shaky temperament.

“Sesshoumaru-sama!” she cried. “I'm going to die! Look at all the blood! Something must have bit me… or… or maybe I have a disease!” She continued to wail, then flung herself against his chest. He instinctively put a fatherly arm around her and rubbed her back, still stunned at such behavior.

“Rin, you're not going to die,” Sesshoumaru said calmly as she sobbed into his clothes. He was thankful he at least had the armor off at that point.

“But… but why is there so much blood?” she stuttered in a voice choked with tears.

“It's a normal human female event,” Sesshoumaru said, and she looked at him with wide curious eyes. He sighed; she would need more information on the subject, and he hated being the only one around that knew anything about it. Jaken, too, seemed to look surprised at Sesshoumaru's words. Sesshoumaru held back a cringe; was the toad actually surprised he was going to talk about such a thing, or was it that he was really so stupid that he didn't know?

In any case, Sesshoumaru was forced to tell Rin everything about human female menstruation, and what she should expect from this point on in her life. When he got to the more involved part about procreation, Rin seemed to turn a few shades of crimson and began to shift uncomfortably in his lap. When it was all over, he instructed Jaken to take Rin to the river to wash up and, more than anything else, give him a moment of peace.

It was definitely the first interesting story that he would always remember, but it wouldn't be the last.

Not too long after he had educated her on human females and procreation, Rin had formulated an idea in her head that her Sesshoumaru-sama was the one with whom she would `procreate'.

Sesshoumaru had not foreseen such a phenomenon either, and when a curvaceous teenaged Rin plopped down on his lap one evening and began `exploring' his body, he froze in response to her.

“Rin,” he chided sternly as she rested her face down in his lap. “What are you doing?”

The tone of his voice startled her, and she sat up and looked at him. Her face flamed in embarrassment. “Um… well, you see, Sesshoumaru-sama, after you told me that my body is growing so I can have a baby, I thought maybe…” She paused to watch the dread flicker across his face. “I thought maybe we could have a baby.”

Bending her head down again, she kissed him over the material on his thighs. Her head was movingly dangerously closer to his middle, and he reached in quickly and brought her head up away from his crotch, giving her a stern look and shaking his head. “Rin, we're not going to make a baby. We can't.”

Rin cocked her head curiously; she didn't seem to be buying Sesshoumaru's finalized tone. “Why not? Can you not have a baby, Sesshoumaru-sama?” she asked bluntly.

Sesshoumaru almost choked on his tongue to that. “No. That's not it. We are different species, Rin. That's why.” He sighed in exasperation, pinching the top of his nose between his eyes.

“But that doesn't matter. Your brother is a mixed species, and so is that medicine man Jinenji, so I know we can,” she said cleverly, and Sesshoumaru groaned irritation.

“It's not that, Rin. It's that I don't want to have a mixed baby with you,” he said finally, and he regretted his bluntness at the sight of her upset expression.

“Oh.” Rin closed her mouth, feeling tears swirling at the sides of her eyes. She looked at the ground sternly and asked, “If Kagura was still alive, would you make a baby with her?”

Sesshoumaru patted her shoulder immediately when he noticed the jealousy. She looked up at him to see an affectionate look on his face. “I don't know, Rin. I don't think in the terms of the past `what ifs.' I can't have a child with you because you are not Kagura or any girl but Rin, and my Rin is a little girl.”

Rin nodded solemnly, and let out a weak smile when she finally understood him. She giggled a little, realizing that Sesshoumaru only intended her to be his daughter, not someone to have a baby with.

“Can I have a baby with someone else then?” Rin asked, her smile still bright on her face.

Sesshoumaru gave her a protective glare. “Not now, Rin,” he said, and she couldn't help but giggle. If Sesshoumaru had his way, he wouldn't let any stupid male around Rin, but he knew that as she grew, that probably wouldn't be possible forever.

Someday he would have to let his little girl go.

~*~

After Rin had grown up and left him to marry a human, Sesshoumaru felt as if a big empty space had formed in his life. Jaken and Ah and Un were still there, but life was different without the presence of a child.

Often times he would visit Rin just to subdue the empty feelings he had, and as she grew over the years, she hardly looked like the same Rin anymore. At least her smile was still childlike, and she harbored many grandchildren that had the same smile.

When he visited her on one of her last days, she made a request of him before he left.

Sesshoumaru watched her move slowly around the hut that her late husband had built her. She hadn't been keeping it up, and some of the wood was rotting and ready to break. He offered to help her fix the roof, but she shook her head and declined. Many of her children and grandchildren were gone to other villages, and she was alone. Wars were breaking out all over Japan, and her village was one of the ones that had been ransacked by feuding lords. Yet, she refused to leave.

“You know why I stay here?” she asked him that last day. He knew exactly why she stayed there, but he let her tell her story.

“I like it here because just in that forest yonder, that's why I met my Sesshoumaru-sama,” she said with a nod, letting a smile erupt on her wrinkled face. She leaned against her cane as she soaked in the warm afternoon sunlight.

“What is this favor you ask of me, Rin?” Sesshoumaru pressed on, not enjoying the silence that continued to outline Rin's aging frame.

“Oh, that, well, it's about my children,” she said with a worried look. “I heard the wars are getting more frequent, and I wonder if the village they moved to is safe enough. I know that my son Renji died in the war, and his wife Naru followed after him from consumption.” She frowned, and suddenly she looked very old to him. “Renji and Naru's children are in the care of my other daughter, Keiko, and her husband Toki. They have enough trouble with their own kids, and I fear for their safety against the war as well. The last I heard, Toki was leaving for the war himself, leaving Keiko alone with the children.”

Suddenly, Rin had a fit of coughs, and then she started breathing heavily as they died down. Sesshoumaru put his hand over hers where it rested on her cane, and she looked at him through teary eyes and smiled. “Please, I beg you, look after my children. At least, make sure they're safe,” Rin cried, and Sesshoumaru was moved by her desperation. In a final gesture to Rin, he nodded, and she felt overtly relieved.

~*~

Years after Rin's passing, Sesshoumaru had scooped up Reika and Misa, two of Rin's granddaughters that managed to survive the wars. By the time he had found Rin's children, these girls were the only ones that survived.

They followed Sesshoumaru willingly, remembering their grandma had a friendly `dog spirit' that always took care of her when she was small, and now, they lived that fairytale as well.

Watching them, Sesshoumaru felt a sense of serenity wash over him. He was getting older, and many of the people he knew from his past had long disappeared. With these children, he vowed to keep wandering, looking for a sign of his mother and now, keeping a promise to Rin to watch over her children.

“Sesshoumaru-sama, look!” Reika called out, waving for his attention on her new wild flower necklace. Sesshoumaru nodded to her, and the girls squealed as they worked harder with more necklaces so they could once again gain his approval.

Sesshoumaru turned his attention to Jaken, who was snoozing against a rock. “Jaken, we head out tomorrow.”

Jaken jumped at the sound of Sesshoumaru's voice and immediately gave him his utmost attention. “Yes, my lord!” he jabbered a bit too quickly, and then gave Sesshoumaru a puzzled look. “My lord, if you don't mind me asking, where are we heading out, exactly?”

Sesshoumaru was silent for a moment of pontification. Where indeed. Honestly, he really had no destination in mind. Naraku was gone, and he no longer desired the sword from his brother. Even if he did, he doubted he could even find his brother since he had not heard word of him for over eighty years. In the end, he really had nothing to do. His quest for more power and more land had, in turn, dwindled over the years. Consequently, Sesshoumaru had felt content with just wandering. Of course, finding signs of his mother was always prevalent on his mind, and now he had girls to take care of. But as far as a mission or destination, his options were really very open.

Sesshoumaru smiled, and Jaken gasped at such an unexpected sight.

“West. I think we'll go to the west,” Sesshoumaru stated. Jaken nodded automatically to him, but his lord's behavior had made him curious. What did he really have planned for them?


	7. Niche

VII. -- Niche

 

Sesshoumaru sighed heavily and pinched the flesh in between his eyes. He removed his reading glasses and opened the last drawer of his desk to pull out the stash of cognac he kept on the bottom. He glanced at the picture of his three adopted children momentarily, and then lifted his bottle in a silent `cheers.' Taking a swig, he smacked his lips together as the alcohol burned down his throat before proceeding to give his head a light, floating feeling. He thought of his kids in school and remembered that he was enduring all this paper correcting for them. More than anything, he was enduring annoying and stupid American college students for them and their future.

He proceeded to take another shot, but then he heard a knock at his office door. Quickly hiding the bottle in his drawer and slamming it shut, he gathered his composure and cleared his throat, then put his reading glasses back on. “You may enter,” he said gruffly, and when his eyes fell on his visitor, he inwardly groaned.

“Hi, professor,” she said, bouncing into his office like a bubbly ferret with a sugar high. She smiled at him with perfect white teeth and bright brown eyes. In her hand, he noticed that she held a permission slip, just like the last time she visited him in his office.

Oh well, he was sort of expecting this. She had, after all, been auditing his classes for several semesters now. He didn't know why a pre-med student would take such an interest in children's literature, but he had some idea in her case.

“Ms. Higurashi, what a pleasant surprise,” he drawled, and she responded to him with a candy-coated giggle. “What can I do for you?” And he felt silly for asking the question because he knew exactly what she wanted.

“Um… well…” She projected her arm out stiffly. “I have another permission slip for your class, Children's French Literature. I just need you to sign it so I can get Admissions to approve my enrollment.”

He took the slip and sighed. He felt positively disturbed by her presence, and now she was taking one of his classes again - classes she wasn't getting credit for and that were not within her major.

“Professor Taimaru? Are you okay?” Kagome asked, and he pointed to the chair behind her.

“Sit down, Ms. Higurashi,” he commanded, and she planted her behind down right away.

“You do realize this is the third time you've audited one of my classes?”

“Uh huh,” she said, nodding.

“And you do know you're not getting credit for these? And you're adding extra work to your already busy pre-med workload?”

“Uh huh,” she repeated.

“Now, I don't mean to be blunt, but is there something wrong with your head?” he said quickly, and he watched Kagome's mouth drop in surprise.

“Um… what do you mean?”

Sesshoumaru sighed for the fortieth time and rolled his eyes. He flung his glasses off again, and then turned to look at her straight on. He clasped his hands together and rested his chin on top of them. “Well, I just find it a bit strange that an already busy and overworked med student keeps taking my children's literature classes. Now, I can understand if you have a general interest in the subject, but you're not getting credit for it and it just adds more stress to your current credited classes as it is,” he responded. He watched Kagome straighten her back and visibly stiffen.

“But that's not really your business, is it? I mean, I pay for the class, and I'm not struggling in any of my other classes. So what's it to you if I keep taking them?” she shot back at him. He cocked an amused brow to her attitude. Inwardly, he was somewhat intrigued that this girl had not changed since he remembered her.

Sesshoumaru fanned the permission slip in front of his face and smirked at her. “Oh, I think it is my business. You see, I have an interest in all my students, even the ones that don't take the class to actually learn about what I'm teaching.”

Kagome opened her mouth widely in offense. “I learn about what you're teaching!” She pursed her lips and flared her nostrils.

Sesshoumaru leaned back and continued to smirk at her in amusement. “Oh, I beg to differ. If you were actually taking my class for credit, I'd have to grade you around a C minus. I don't understand this because, well, during my lectures you seem to pay very close attention to me,” he stated. He moved forward now, leaning over his desk to stare at her seriously, holding the permission slip in his hand. “Now, are you really sure you want to take my class again, Ms. Higurashi?”

Kagome was silent, and Sesshoumaru watched her visibly swallow. Her breathing picked up, and her once defiant demeanor transformed into fear. He didn't know why she was suddenly afraid, but he could only surmise that she had found some familiarity in him, and refusing her admission into his class would cut her off from that feeling.

In his own right, he had to admit that seeing her here in America had jarred him at first. They had passed each other during orientation day, and instantly, the two of them had felt the connection. In regard to his normal aloofness, he'd rather hoped any faces from the past, such as hers, would disappear. He didn't feel he was ready to see anyone again, not since he had lost so much; Kagura, Rin, Jaken, Reika and Misa, among others, were all gone. His mother's whereabouts had still remained a mystery, and decades ago Sesshoumaru had partly given up on looking for her, wondering if his mother had meant for him not to find her.

Seeing Kagome, a clear and present face from his past, had really affected him, and she stirred up so many emotions that had long lain dormant. She must have felt some similar emotions to him as well, because no later than a week had passed and she was in his class. He commended her skills for finding him out, and was likewise surprised to learn she wasn't taking his class for her major.

So why was she taking his class? And why was it so important, almost imperative, that she audit all of his classes?

“Mr. Taimaru, I know how you must feel about me. You must really hate teaching me and having me in your classroom. However, I need to take your class for myself. Taking your class is a healing process for me. I've lost so much, and with your class, I feel like I've gained something back again.”

He looked up at her, drowned in the silence and engulfed by the weight of her words. It was as if she had just said the very thing he was holding back from saying himself. He looked at her pensively, and she straightened with unrelenting strength under his scrutiny.

Sesshoumaru looked down, eyes falling on the permission slip she had given him. On the right hand corner was a line for his authorized signature. By doing this, he'd be giving her permission again to sit in his class and watch him teach, and stare at him as she healed and remembered. Also, by signing that note, he'd be continuing his daily routine of snatching up the pieces of his past. Every day he would see her, and remember that he could not go through life and just forget. He could not go through life wandering alone.

His gaze drifted down toward his left, where on his desk sat a photo of his children. Teneisha was eight, and the brightest girl in her class. Cory was just turning eleven and discovering that maybe girls weren't so icky after all. Bella was four, and she was going through terrible fits of clinginess and always asking for her mother.

“Your kids, they're really adorable,” Kagome said, noticing where his gaze was. “Did you adopt them?”

“Yes, I provide a foster home for them until their real parents straighten out and can take care of them again,” he said conversationally as Kagome drew him in with her interest in his family.

“But isn't it sad though, when they go away? I mean, you have them, grow with them, and then one day they have to leave you. They go home or go away, and then you're left alone.” She didn't look at him, and she continued to stare at his picture. “I think if it were me, it'd be really sad if I had gotten used to a person, learned to care about them, and then suddenly they were taken away.”

Sesshoumaru nodded, then picked up his pen. He moved his gaze back and forth to his kids, to her, and then to her permission slip. She drew her attention away from his photo and then stared at him, anxious for his decision.

And suddenly, being in her presence comforted him. He had been traveling too long, he had lost so much, and here he was, living a mellow life among humans. He always had foster children, but as Kagome said, they didn't always stay with him, and they had always gone away. Overall, it had made him feel very alone, and at the same time, very sad.

He looked at her, and then nodded as he replied to her question. “Yes, Ms. Higurashi, I think it is very sad.”

Sesshoumaru clicked the pen and began to sign his name. He could feel Kagome's energy spike in jubilation as he handed her the signed paper, and she immediately beamed with joy.

“Thank you so much, Sesshoumaru!” Then she covered her mouth at her slip. “Um… sorry, what I meant to say was-”

Sesshoumaru shook his head. “No, that is what you meant to say, I think.” Before she could retort he stood up and began escorting her to the door. “Well then, I expect to see you in my class on Monday night. I hope you like French culture, because that's what it is…” He sighed and added, “Unfortunately.”

Kagome giggled, and he opened the door wide to give her room to get out. “Sounds like fun. I'll see you then and thanks again, professor.” Winking at him, she then turned and started walking happily down the hall.

Sesshoumaru leaned against his door and crossed his arms as he watched her leave. He couldn't help but feel somewhat warmer after accepting Kagome's note. He felt silly that perhaps at first he was frightened of her presence, that she would bring back an unsettling past that he had tried to forget.

But he really couldn't forget his past, nor ignore the things he learned from it. With his mother, Kagura, Izayoi, Naraku, Rin and so many others, they shaped the person he was today. Yes, he lived longer, and his intentions in life were always changing. He never could have guessed that a boy who was about to inherit a boring chunk of land would be here in a foreign land doting on children and teaching humans. He never knew that there came a time where swords and conquest didn't matter anymore, but that it was how he lived his life that mattered.

Absently, he put his hand on his hip, expecting the vacancy of his sword and then smiling. He let out a small guffaw and walked back into his office, thinking of lectures and children. He sat down at his desk, grinned cattily at the stack of papers to grade and brought out the cognac.

Taking a swig, he set the bottle down and smacked his lips. He closed his eyes, and let the face of a bubbly brown-eyed girl float over his brain.

And as he was about to fall into a small nap, he heard a rapping sound on his office window. He swiveled in his chair, and curiously, he studied his visitor with much interest. Staring at him intently, a hawk perched on the stone window sill and was holding an envelope.

At first, Sesshoumaru was thoroughly confused by this, but soon he recognized the bird.

Then he remembered.

Gasping, he flew open the window and let the bird inside. The hawk gave him an affronted look for the delay of leaving him out in the cold for too long. Sesshoumaru's eyes widened, and cautiously he reached out his hand.

“Reiji?” he inquired, realizing that this very hawk belonged to his mother. It was no ordinary hawk either, and when Sesshoumaru had said his name, the bird cawed at him and spurted a short burst of fire at him from his eyes.

Sesshoumaru left out a small laugh, and then the hawk dropped the envelope down in front of him. Cautiously, Sesshoumaru reached out to the letter, and after seeing it addressed to him in his mother's handwriting, he quickly grabbed it.

For awhile he just stared at it in awe. He had waited so long for this and after hundreds of years of searching and waiting, what he truly wanted was now here. Upon meeting Kagome and now this, Sesshoumaru finally felt his life was becoming complete.

And then, he opened the letter.

 

The End


End file.
